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Frequently Asked Questions about Christmas

by Alan Harris

Santa picture

Q: If Santa doesn't have to age, then why has he become old?
A:  He only appears to be old. He's an undercover kid.

Q: How can a sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A: If you were being pulled by eight flying reindeer, wouldn't 
you fly too?

Q: Why do we wish people a "Merry Christmas" instead of a 
"Happy Christmas"?
A: The two are about the same, but with "Merry Christmas" 
an extra twinkle is seen in the eyes.

Q: Why is a Christmas tree that has been chopped down called 
a "live Christmas tree"?
A: It's dead but doesn't know it, and yet it's having the time 
of its life.

Q: Why do we wrap our Christmas gifts with paper?
A: Because we like to see surprise and joy (real or kindly faked) 
in the recipients.

Q: How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
A: Nowadays only four angels can dance there. Formerly there 
was no limit, but OSHA passed the Angel Safety Law recently, 
which also requires that the pin must be inspected twice each 
year for structural defects.

Q: How many gifts can Santa Claus's bag hold?
A: One less than infinity. Why one less? Because there's a limit 
to everything.

Q: How could a star that is high in the sky lead the Wise Men 
to a tiny manger on the ground?
A: Wisely, toward the end of their journey they asked directions 
from someone on the road. Had they not been so wise, they might 
have missed the manger by several hundred miles. (That person 
on the road has never been identified.)

Q: Is there really a Mrs. Santa Claus?
A: The best way to know for sure is to ask Santa Claus next time 
you see him.

Q: Why do we hear so many bells at Christmas time?
A: Because so many people ring them.

Q: Why do so many people ring bells at Christmas time?
A: For the poor, for the joy, and because a bell can say what words 
can't say.

Q: What can't words say?
A: The moment you wake up on Christmas morning, listen carefully.
 You may hear then what words can't say.